By Scott S. I was thinking about my schedule on April 2, 2003:
?:?? - Come to;
?:?? - Regurgitate, eat piece of toast to have something in stomach;
?:?? - Drink;
11:00 am - Make way to hole in the wall bar on the block of a friend's apartment;3:30 pm - Get whatever I could to drink at deli and make my way up to my friend's apartment. Drink and get high until he passed out around 10:00 pm (He was a teacher and was desperately trying to keep his job);
10:00 pm - Walk or take subway to a friend's disgusting room, about 2 miles away;
10:30 pm - Drink whatever turpentine was at my friend's house;
3:00 am to 5:00 am - Get a six pack for the 10 block walk to where I was staying;
?:?? - Pass out.
As you can see, I was a very busy man. My schedule was interrupted by a phone call from my Mother at about 4 am, when she asked, "Do you think it's time this ended?" At that moment in time, after being asked (most of the time it was a bit harsher than "asked") that question in one form or another for years on end, for some reason I responded with a, "Yeah, sure." Perhaps my answer was inspired by my actions and thoughts of the previous night as I was standing in my parents' kitchen for a few hours with a meat cleaver thinking the same thing my mother had asked, "It's time this all ended."
Detox, rehab, 90 in 90, "One day at a time", "Don't pick up the first one no matter what", "Make a meeting". Periods of time with many meetings, periods where there were none, periods where they were sporadic. What I know for sure, without reservation, is the people in these rooms are pure love and support, and they help keep me sober every day. I may not physically be in the room today, but I'm with them always. I begin to smile when I think about going to any meeting, particularly the AIP group, which I feel is my home.
Each day is a gift, one that without fail I'd not experienced were it not for my daily sobriety. Today I enjoy a loving and supportive relationship with my partner, being a father, father-in-law, grandfather, brother, son, cousin, and Trekkie. In sobriety there have been ups, downs, sideways and all out spirals. Good health, questionable health and near death experiences. Through it all...sober.
I was thinking about my schedule on October 30, 2019:
4:30 am - Wake up to my alarm, relax a bit before leaving for work;
5:00 am - Get dressed, putting on the clothes I laid out the night before;
5:15 am - Grab the lunch I made the night before, and get a ride to work from a remarkably supportive partner;
6 am - Begin my day as a counselor in a MAT clinic, supporting those that need support, as I did and still do to this day;
10 am - Eat the lunch I've brought;
2:00 pm - Depending on the day, leave for class to complete my work towards being a licensed counselor in California, or enjoy the afternoon otherwise;
5:00 pm - Eat a healthy (or perhaps not so healthy dinner);
8:30 pm - Relax and unwind;
9:30 pm - Relax and fall asleep.
As you can see, I'm now a very busy and peaceful man.
Comments